on the porch

Down south one needs a porch. Upon that porch, one must have a porch swing. Why? Because if there were no porch swing there would be no porch 'talks'. 'Porch talks' being those times your parents need to talk to you about something import, drastic, Earth shattering, or accuse you of things you may or may not have done or am doing. And in those moments during the porch talks, if there is no porch swing, then all there is left to do is stand there.